Arlen’s Best Birthday Excerpt from “The Narcissist Chronicles: The Whole Story”

Copyright 2011-2024 by Lisa Maliga

I loved my birthday no matter how old I got. Our MySpace site was blessed with people who left a lot of comments wishing me a happy birthday and I just never got tired of seeing it all! I did a special birthday poem and got more blog comments that way. God, I was having fun.

On top of that, I was in love with an angel from Tupelo, Mississippi named FlowerChild. She was a divorcee who was only thirty-five and was the brightest woman I’d had the privilege to meet online thus far. She wasn’t a writer but she wrote like one, and she worked in the deli department of a supermarket where she was in charge of making those wonderful party platters.

That FlowerChild was born only ten miles from the King [of rock n roll] made me love her even more. Ironically, she wasn’t a huge Elvis fan at all; something I just happened to overlook and forgive, as she was a fan of my books and had purchased all three copies in hardcover. FlowerChild loved reading and had excelled in it back in high school. She was going to attend Mississippi State, but she got pregnant and married, yes folks, in that order, and college had to wait.

Something about her was so refreshingly different and wonderful that I decided to give up flirting forever. I loved the hell out of her. I thought about her most all the time, and then some, to the point that she’s sort of like a billboard in my brain.

If things were going well for me, that afternoon they hit a peak. I heard back from that publisher I’d been in touch with for the past few months about my short story. Seems like they liked it so much that it would be put into a sexy horror anthology, which was going to be released by year’s end! Payment was okay but potential exposure was great. Not only that, I would finally have a legitimate new writing credit! I was one very happy man.

Book link: https://www.lisamaliga.com/book-the-narcissist-chronicles-the-whole-story

Video Excerpt

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Private Dancer’s Warning ~ Book Excerpt from “The Narcissist Chronicles: The Whole Story”

By Lisa Maliga

Copyright 2011-2024

This excerpt features an email exchange from Private Dancer, one of Arlen Stevenson’s many online MySpace friends, to another woman who is in love with the zombie author. Only Arlen’s manager intercepts the missive. It serves as a strong warning about Arlen’s narcissistic ways.

Note: It’s been edited for length and the typos and misspellings are intentional to show the rawness of the exchange.

I opened up the email from Private Dancer.

I know you and Arlen have some kind of friendship going here. I know you flirt like hell that there is no harm either, well what you think is no harm. But I don’t know how far it’s gone. I am hoping I am wrong, and you didn’t go there to see him . please tell me you ddin’t and if you did, hun, all I have to say, GOD HELP YOU.

I am going to write some things I bet your bottom dollar he’s said to you. And he not only has told you, he has told all other women that he is woooing, sleeping with, or setting up to sleep with.

* Darlin, don’t listen to tehm, they don’t know what they are sayin.

* You know I love you & only you.

* Darlin I have to make those comments on the profile cause my manager tells me to cause it sells books.

* You are the most important thing to me and no one else.

* If you cant come to me, I will come to you.

* Once I [redacted] and we have sex, you know you are all mine, don’t you?

* If you come out here darlin, we will go to the lake house. Then you can meet my buddies and you can become a member of our private club.

* Once you are here darlin, I want to build you a log cabin for us to live in, and never leave. And you can manage and help me with the myspace and read my emails and comments, then you can help me weed out the ones you don’t want.

* (For those who are married) Darlin, don’t worry that you are married, I am too. She does her thing and I do mine. Your husband will never find out. We can meet some where he will never know… just you and me and have all the sex we want.

*  You are the best in the world, you are the only one I love, you’re the only one I want to be with, none of the other women know about us, so don’t tell them. Be careful with your comments, or they might get wind of us.

* He is going to tell you don’t listen to me..but I can get in touch with all the women who are already in touch with me that he did the same with. The more you keep flirting dirty with him, the more serious he will get about meeting you, and will push youinto it or coherse you to making your mind up to doing it.

* He can’t understand why all the women have this thing for him. He is just a simple Southern smalltown boy. He isn’t a saint, but he never expected this to happen. He knows how bad he can be, but that would make all the other women jealous.

Arlen has ruined some marriages but he blamed the women. He didn’t tell them to come there, or have sex with him. He says this stuff to all the women, not just you. He has all the women believeing they are the only one, right down to sex and cooking and everything else…

I am just trying to let you know what he really is like. And that he doesn’t care no more about you and your feeling than any other woman. He just loves having them eating out of his hand and thinking he is their man, their god, their sex machine…..

If you want to keep it up…fine I cant stop you. But you need to know the truth… remember if he isn’t doing things or saying things to you, he is to other women, and he will hurt them emotionally and blame them for it…

I was glad that Arlen pointed it out, and that I was quick enough to save it. I filed it, not fully contemplating what I had just read. And it was still going on.

An author of zombie fiction, Arlen J. Stevenson uses his writing ability to entice his online victims. He flirts with them via email or instant messages. But what happens when he meets his online match?

Book link: The Narcissist Chronicles: The Whole Story by Lisa Maliga

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Zombie Excerpt from “The Narcissist Chronicles: The Whole Story”

By Lisa Maliga, copyright 2011-2024

I posted my short story Zombies At The Kings Country Buffet. The comments came pouring in and I was winning more subscribers and more fans. Some of those ol’ gals were bringing in other ol’ gals. I was sent pictures of some of ‘em and lots of private email addresses and phone numbers. To say my calendar was getting kinda full was a huge understatement. God, I loved MySpace!

A few days later I found time to chat with [my manager] Helena on the IM but I had to remain hidden or else I would’ve been inundated with gals wanting to chat. We discussed the overwhelming success of my short story that had been on my web site for years, but over here it had garnered over 60 comments. Danielle in Odessa, Texas wrote about my witty horror tale, saying she was laughing and crying at the same time and she would stay far away from buffets in the future. BlueEyedBlonde wrote, in part: “you have quite a sense of humor about you (Thank GOD!!!) I enjoy your writings…”

Gillian in North Carolina: “I don’t care bout no dam zombies but what you tell me is that u got some balls great big size and I love you writeing”

Frankinzombie: “Because Im a loser baby,now why dont you kill me, that is If I turn into a zombie. Its all fantasy,we know about reality,work,hot girlfriend who likes expensive things,and talks to much while your watching a football game, giving your bud some $ to score some bud, and dosnt show up till the next day,wop-ass time,i know you been pinching my bag mo-fo,escape from reality,til zombies really happens,its comming soon”

Robbi Zombie: “Arlen, you are 1 of the finest zombie writers in your genre. Not only do you maintain a level of tension, but it’s interlaced with lots of humor. I wish I could give you 10 kudos!”

Then it happened. Some firefighter in a small town of South Hampton, Alabama wrote about wanting a speaker at his Christmas party—and the man even gave an amount. That would be enough to buy a new computer. Things were lookin’ up!

An author of zombie fiction, Arlen J. Stevenson uses his writing ability to entice his online victims. He flirts with them via email or instant messages. But what happens when he meets his online match?

Link: The Narcissist Chronicles: The Whole Story by Lisa Maliga

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Kitchen Soap for Chefs: 4 Easy Melt & Pour Soap Recipes ~ New eBook Serves Cooks & ‘The Walking Dead’ Fans

By Lisa Maliga, copyright 2016

It’s almost a month until The Walking Dead returns for a seventh season. There are six seasons where no one’s seen Daryl bathe or shower. Of course, when we left him back in April in the episode “Last Day on Earth”, he wasn’t thinking about cleaning up. In fact, with the introduction of Neagan and Lucille, Daryl wasn’t looking too good. 

While I’m looking forward to the return of the show on October 23, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to know who Lucille’s going to meet up close and personal. Yes, I’ve read the rumors and have visited some sites that have leaked photos and other news. However, I’ve been too busy making soap [and French macarons] to do more than glance at the information. I’ll find out for sure next month. I’ve waited this long, what’s another four weeks?

I received a wonderful gift from a friend who’s also a fan of the show and of the Daryl Dixon character. I was so pleased with how appropriate it was that I used it in this photo:

As many chefs know, coffee removes strong odors such as onions, garlic, fish, and meat. It’d probably be great for a guy like Daryl after some run-ins with zombies…and maybe a few of Neagan’s unpleasant companions. People who probably don’t have access to hot and cold running water and soap. If they did, I have a hunch they’d all like some Espresso Coffee Kitchen Soap.

So, I’d like to introduce my latest soap crafting eBook. Naturally, I made all the soaps and took photos of them. I was running low on soap. Now, my soap dishes and soap cabinet are full again.

Kitchen Soap for Chefs: 4 Easy Melt & Pour Soap Recipes

It’s easy to create chef’s soap in your kitchen. Quickly cook up a batch of soap that will wash away strong kitchen odors. Now you can make excellent smelling and deodorizing soaps with four classic and carefully tested recipes.

For less than the price of a cup of coffee you’ll get:

• Original, kitchen-tested recipes
• Photographs of all recipes and soap bases
• Fragrance and essential oil information
• Types of soap molds
• Where to buy links
• FREE on Kindle Unlimited

Kindle link: Kitchen Soap for Chefs: 4 Easy Melt & Pour Soap Recipes

Kindle UK link: Kitchen Soap for Chefs: 4 Easy Melt & Pour Soap Recipes

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I WANT YOU: Seduction Emails from a Narcissist ~ New Cover & Excerpt

By Lisa Maliga, copyright 2016

Before I became a fan of THE WALKING DEAD, I wrote about a character named Arlen J. Stevenson who was the author of zombie fiction. I chose that genre because it seemed a little different—edgier—than thrillers or science fiction.

Originally, this manuscript got some interest from an editor at a small literary press. “It sounds serious and worthy, and I appreciated the description and know exactly what you’re talking about from hard experience. I do wish you luck with it though because…it has to be said!”

When I first uploaded I WANT YOU: Seduction Emails from a Narcissist, along with my companion title, Love Me, Need Me: A Narcissist’s Tale, I designed my own cover. I’ve since stopped doing this as I prefer not fussing around with fonts. I finally got around to having the cover redesigned after combing through some stock photos and finding one of a man who resembled the Arlen I’d imagined. Art and reality merged.

Since publishing this book, I’ve learned a lot about formatting. While awaiting the cover to be designed, I had a look at the sample, noting some the spacing issues. I went through line by line and fixed the problems. By doing this, I reread the story and was struck by the online psychological game playing that abounded within the book. 

This is unlike any other book I’ve written. It took years of research before I wrote my first draft. I did encounter several versions of Arlen online and in real life. At the time, it was very difficult to be around those types of uncaring and self-centered people. But what I learned filled more than one book. 

EXCERPT:

Here’s Arlen’s email to LeeAnn [Southern Pecan is her MySpace name] after “meeting” her on September 28.

Date: September 30

LeeAnn,

You’re wise, insightful, and loving. On top of that, you radiate both a wonderful sexuality combined with a heaping dose of loyalty. All mixed together, it’s potent.

Why do I want you with all these other people around? Frankly, there’s not even a choice involved, you are simply on a different level.

I’ll make this short and sweet. I want to get to know you more, the sooner the better. If all you want is an internet friendship, fine, just tell me. But if you want the chance for more, tell me that, because that’s exactly what I want. The reason you and I both are doing this is because we both sense we’ve gotten ahold of what potentially could be the real thing for us both.

Let me know, darlin,
AJS

P.S. My marriage is not what it should be, dear, and has been for awhile. This doesn’t flatter me in the least, but even if it wasn’t, I don’t know that I could resist you.

BOOK DESCRIPTION:

The author of three zombie books uses his literary accomplishments to entice his online victims. Arlen J. Stevenson flirts heavily with several women via raw and steamy emails in order to lure them to his lake house. His MySpace site has amassed thousands of potential victims. “I WANT YOU: Seduction Emails from a Narcissist” shows Arlen’s arc of seduction with eighteen different women. You’ll meet poetic Southern Pecan, desperate Betsy, flirty Debra, and lonely Ginger.

The love and long-term relationships he proposes to the women lasts long enough to satisfy his ego and sexual cravings.

This unique volume can be read as either a sequel or a prequel to “Love Me Need Me: A Narcissist’s Tale.”

WARNING! “I WANT YOU: Seduction Emails from a Narcissist” may be offensive to those who dislike graphic language and sexual content.

Amazon: I WANT YOU: Seduction Emails from a Narcissist
B&N NOOK: I WANT YOU: Seduction Emails from a Narcissist
iTunes: I WANT YOU: Seduction Emails from a Narcissist
Kobo: I WANT YOU: Seduction Emails from a Narcissist
Scribd: I WANT YOU: Seduction Emails from a Narcissist
Smashwords: I WANT YOU: Seduction Emails from a Narcissist

 

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NOTE: Next week there will be a new French macaron blog with lots of pictures!

 

That Dirty Dawg, Norman Reedus [Daryl Dixon]

By Lisa Maliga, copyright 2015

Good advice, Daryl

I’m a fan of the AMC series THE WALKING DEAD. I’ve seen all the episodes at least twice. I think that Norman Reedus’s character, Daryl Dixon, has adapted well to being around various types of people. Last season, he was adamant about Beth not drinking peach schnapps, and rightly so! He’s also efficient when it comes to taking care of zombies. He’s bonded well with fellow survivor Carol, and she’s toughened up ever since we met the abused housewife in episode 3, Tell It to the Frogs. Of course, a zombie apocalypse will change a person significantly.

In Georgia and other parts of the country that are zombie-infested, being able to access hot running water is probably difficult, especially as the years go by. But don’t they have hot springs in Georgia? Well, the internet’s not working so they can’t go to http://www.soak.net and find out that there are seven listed hot springs with water temperatures ranging from 68 to 88 degrees Fahrenheit. Which is a shame, because soaking in hot springs is good for more than bathing and most zombies aren’t able to swim, so it’d be a safe place.

Watching Norman Reedus strip off his sweaty shirt and jeans and jump into some bubbling hot water would be great for viewers and increase the already astronomically high ratings.

See Norman on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. Stay calm, people!

Other than watching Norman splashing around in the springs, my next thought was what kind of soap would he use? Something exfoliating and natural. Moisturizing, too. A soap with the ability to clean dirt and zombie residue. And something that smelled clean and fresh…

I used to make and sell a soap I called La Brea Tar Pits Glycerin Soap as it removes tar. It’s named after those great big fenced in pits of tar located in Los Angeles, California. The soap weighs 6.5 ounces and is filled with oatmeal, pure Bulgarian Lavender and Australian Tea Tree essential oils, cornmeal and extra shea butter. It’s gently exfoliating due to the addition of whole rolled oats and cornmeal. This soap is for those rugged outdoor types who stab or shoot arrows at zombies and are in dire need of a really super cleansing soap. 

 La Brea Tar Pits soap would probably help remove any kind of zombie goo that Daryl gets on him after he yanks those arrows out of zombie skulls or during those close contact encounters. The lavender and tea tree essential oils are antibacterial and while they aren’t strong enough to disinfect a bite, any user of this soap would smell a lot nicer afterwards. They wouldn’t look or smell quite so ripe…

Looking forward to watching more of Norman Reedus as that dirty dawg Daryl Dixon on Sunday night. And I hope you are too!

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