Zombie Excerpt from “The Narcissist Chronicles: The Whole Story”

By Lisa Maliga, copyright 2011-2024

I posted my short story Zombies At The Kings Country Buffet. The comments came pouring in and I was winning more subscribers and more fans. Some of those ol’ gals were bringing in other ol’ gals. I was sent pictures of some of ‘em and lots of private email addresses and phone numbers. To say my calendar was getting kinda full was a huge understatement. God, I loved MySpace!

A few days later I found time to chat with [my manager] Helena on the IM but I had to remain hidden or else I would’ve been inundated with gals wanting to chat. We discussed the overwhelming success of my short story that had been on my web site for years, but over here it had garnered over 60 comments. Danielle in Odessa, Texas wrote about my witty horror tale, saying she was laughing and crying at the same time and she would stay far away from buffets in the future. BlueEyedBlonde wrote, in part: “you have quite a sense of humor about you (Thank GOD!!!) I enjoy your writings…”

Gillian in North Carolina: “I don’t care bout no dam zombies but what you tell me is that u got some balls great big size and I love you writeing”

Frankinzombie: “Because Im a loser baby,now why dont you kill me, that is If I turn into a zombie. Its all fantasy,we know about reality,work,hot girlfriend who likes expensive things,and talks to much while your watching a football game, giving your bud some $ to score some bud, and dosnt show up till the next day,wop-ass time,i know you been pinching my bag mo-fo,escape from reality,til zombies really happens,its comming soon”

Robbi Zombie: “Arlen, you are 1 of the finest zombie writers in your genre. Not only do you maintain a level of tension, but it’s interlaced with lots of humor. I wish I could give you 10 kudos!”

Then it happened. Some firefighter in a small town of South Hampton, Alabama wrote about wanting a speaker at his Christmas party—and the man even gave an amount. That would be enough to buy a new computer. Things were lookin’ up!

An author of zombie fiction, Arlen J. Stevenson uses his writing ability to entice his online victims. He flirts with them via email or instant messages. But what happens when he meets his online match?

Link: The Narcissist Chronicles: The Whole Story by Lisa Maliga

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The Soapmaker’s Guide to Online Marketing ~ Now in Paperback!

By Lisa Maliga, copyright 2017

optimized-the_soapmakers_guide_to_online_marketing_kindleThe Soapmaker’s Guide to Online Marketing was first published in 2013. I’ve taken the time to update and expand this helpful book for those of you who are selling [or thinking about selling] bath and body products online. Back in 2004, I opened up my store, EverythingShea.com. I started off knowing very little about how to get people to visit my little website. I’m sharing what I’ve learned with anyone who wishes to get more customers. 

Best of all, this book is still the same low price it was when it first was published in June 2013. However, one thing’s changed — there finally is a paperback edition!

Much of the information in this book is also helpful for those creative people who sell other types of arts and crafts online.

♦♦♦

Soapmakers and crafters, learn how to grow your online presence! “The Soapmaker’s Guide to Online Marketing is packed with detailed information on designing, building, and promoting your website. Learn how to write a press release. Get loads of free and low cost promotional ideas. Attract customers by blogging, making videos, and showing off enticing photos of your soaps and/or other bath and body products. Written by the author of “The Joy of Melt and Pour Soap Crafting” and more than a dozen other soap crafting books.

You’ll get:

♦ Successful SEO tips
♦ Free online and offline website promotion tips
♦ Helpful photo guidelines
♦ Video ideas
♦ 100+ updated links
♦ Getting product reviews
♦ Set up your work/crafting area
♦ Wholesaling and labeling guidelines
♦ Avoiding online fraud
♦ Tips on creating your product line
♦ Basic soap recipes
♦ More than 30 resources

Check out my new book trailer!

the_soapmakers_guide_to_online_marketing

Where to buy links:

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Soapmakers-Guide-Online-Marketing-ebook/dp/B00D5YX9IS
Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Soapmakers-Guide-Online-Marketing-ebook/dp/B00D5YX9IS
B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-soapmakers-guide-to-online-marketing-lisa-maliga/1115476903?ean=9781540862976
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id804457652
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/the-soapmaker-s-guide-to-online-marketing-3
Scribd: https://www.scribd.com/book/230453462/The-Soapmaker-s-Guide-to-Online-Marketing
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/322570

 

Ripping Readers Off: Kindle Unlimited Scam eBooks

Copyright 2016 by Lisa Maliga

Kindle-Unlimited-logo-220x86

Last April, I wrote this article: Don’t Buy or Borrow Kindle Unlimited Rip-off eBooks. 

What’s changed since then?

In July 2015, Amazon launched KU2, which pays authors by pages read. KU1 was a fluctuating amount of at least $1 per eBook borrow. The Amazonians have altered the system for their benefit and the amount per page is less than a penny –.0049 per page or less. If an author wants to make any money, they need to write longer books. And those books need to get read.

Or do they?

Nope, the author offers a free book or gift card or something for nothing and has that clickable link take the reader to the back of the book. Like magic, all the pages are read!

With the KU program, Amazon is like long defunct author’s sites Themestream and the Vines – pay per click companies that went belly up. While some legitimate authors are doing quite well, others are faring far worse than they were in KU1.

One of the main problems I’ve seen in the KU program, and this is in the nonfiction area, are foreign plagiarists stuffing books full of repetitive “information.” Or they upload their entire catalogue into one title. I’ve also seen books where the contents are available in a dozen different languages. Can you guess that the translation is run through an online translator resulting in hilarious errors?

What inspired this article was a review request from an author: someone who had been “University” educated, and an expert in various fields dating back to the early 90’s. A quick search revealed nothing except the author’s books in various Amazon stores. Here’s the email:

As an avid buyer and author on Amazon, I want readers to feel they are getting value for money and would recommend to their friends and family. I feel this book meets that requirement.

 I was hoping you could review a books and leave an honest review.

If you are interested I can send you the book as a gift free of charge.

 I saw that the title wasn’t unique and when looking at the author page I noticed:

“She has a passion for sharing his experience…”

Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner? Nope, someone who just didn’t care about proofreading their bio or who wasn’t too fluent in English.

There are many excellent titles in the KU program. But I’m going to point out potential rip-off titles that are often plagiarized from websites, blogs and Pinterest. By reading this article, you’ll learn how to avoid downloading or wasting your time and money on rip-offs and supporting scammers.

If you’re a reader who wants to learn how to bake cupcakes, wouldn’t you want to read a book by someone who has baked the recipes and can provide photos along with helpful tips? I want that! A few weeks ago, I mistakenly downloaded a scam book. At first I thought, oh goodie, 600 pages of cupcake recipes and information—all for 0.00. Wrong! 600 pages of drivel, NO pictures, and recipe after recipe of things I didn’t want to bake. The few cupcake recipes were so generic that one of them listed cake mix. I deleted that eBook.

Spot Those Scammy eBooks

Here are some things to look for when shopping at Amazon.

kindle unlimited logo * No author biography

If there’s no bio, there’s no way of knowing how much knowledge they have pertaining to the subject they’ve written about. There won’t be an email address, website, Etsy page or social media information such as Twitter, Pinterest or Face Book. They have no blog or newsletter.

kindle unlimited logo * Fake Author Biography

Some of the scammers have gotten smarter and include biographies and even pictures or illustrations of themselves. Read it carefully and you’ll see it’s false if no professional training is indicated. Or they might mention a school or university. How is the bio worded—in proper English or does it read as if it was translated from another language?

kindle unlimited logo * Common American Names

This is another way to lure borrowers and buyers—by using familiar surnames like Thomas, Brown, Mitchell, White, etc. It’s also how those from other countries make names seem more acceptable than their own. Authors who use several pseudonyms may do so to avoid detection. It’s also a way of using a name like a keyword – to attract more borrows and sales.

 

kindle unlimited logo * Poor Translating

Foreign authors may have run the manuscript through an online translator resulting in unintentionally hilarious reading. My favorite was the one about heating your soap over a “weak fire.” Some of the faux fiction scam books have incredibly bad titles.

kindle unlimited logo * Offer FREE Bonus/Gift at the BACK of the eBook

This encourages you to click the link and get the page reads. You won’t be able to miss this offer as it’ll be shown in very large and colorful fonts. It may appear more than once.

kindle unlimited logo * Very LONG eBooks

KU1 featured scamlets of 50 pages or less. Now the less is more motto has been replaced with the more [pages] the merrier! One trick I discovered is seeing lengthy books enhanced by offering the book in a dozen different languages. You can also bet that a professional human translator doesn’t translate, as that would be very expensive and time consuming. Ultimately, no one benefits.

Another method is for the scamming “author” to take several books and rearrange the order so the book becomes bloated with excess pages. You get a bundle of books you [probably] don’t care to read.

kindle unlimited logo * LONG Titles Stuffed with Keywords

Example: Homemade Body Butter: 25 Natural Body Butter And Lotion Recipes To Keep Your Skin Smooth And Feeling Moisturized! (How To Body Butter, DIY Body Butter, Natural Body Butter And Lotion Recipes).

kindle unlimited logo * Enticing Cover Photo of the Product[s]

A rip-off will be revealed if the featured product[s] recipe and photo aren’t included inside the eBook. For example, a stack of oatmeal soap on the cover, yet there is no oatmeal soap recipe in the rip-off title. Also, most rip-off eBooks won’t contain any photos.

kindle unlimited logo * If recipes are included, they may be in a mixture of ounces, grams, tablespoons and teaspoons, which is very confusing for the reader.

kindle unlimited logo * No medical or legal disclaimer. No safety precautions.

kindle unlimited logo * The name on the cover may be spelled differently than the name on the book’s Amazon page.

In order to avoid being ripped off, please use this article as a checklist.

Also, read what author Ann Christy has written about this topic. She includes in-depth analysis along with screenshots of some flagrant examples. http://www.annchristy.com/anatomy-of-ku-scams

 

fragrances

Looking for a Soap Crafting Supplier?

By Lisa Maliga copyright 2015

soap base
Soap Bases

This is an excerpt from Chapter 8 of my latest eBook, Organic and Sulfate Free Melt and Pour Glycerin Soap Crafting Recipes.

I used to buy my herbs, soap bases, molds and oils from suppliers in buildings rather than online. Nowadays, I order online because I make soap part time and don’t sell it. Over the years, I’ve learned what makes a good supplier — one that you will order from repeatedly.

Website:

It helps if the site is visually appealing, showing photos of their supplies. How well laid out is the site? Does it have a prominently placed search feature? Can you find the type of soap base you need? Are the soap base’s ingredients listed? What other products are available from fragrances to molds to packaging?

Prices:

fragrances
Fragrances & Essential Oils

This is where you’ll want to shop around to compare where you can get the best value. Do they sell their soap by the pound, two-pound container, or only in larger quantities? Keep a list either on a computer document or on a pad of paper and write down the amounts that a given supplier charges. Do they have a sale page; a closeout section/discontinued products area? Perhaps they have a customer rewards program that will help if you plan to purchase a lot of soap. Do they offer coupons, discounts or free shipping? Is there an order minimum? By scrutinizing the site, you may end up saving money. If you’re a newbie to soap crafting, it’s practical to order the smallest sizes available so that you don’t end up with products that you never use or have to sell/give away.

Variety of Products:

Large suppliers like Brambleberry.com carry an array of products. This is the ultimate convenience in one-stop-shopping. If you’re just starting out and have to buy most of your soap bases, scents, molds, colorants, etc. you can also fill your shopping cart with way more than originally anticipated, so be careful.

Types of Payment:

Do they accept PayPal, major credit cards, eChecks, money orders, cashier’s checks, C.O.D. or other payment options? Can you snail mail them a check? Do they accept international orders? Do you need to register to make a purchase or can you bypass registration? Can you order online, via phone, fax, snail mail or email?

About the Company:

How long have they been in business? Are they online only or do they have a storefront? Do they provide free soap making/soap crafting resources? Does the owner or owners make soap and have an extensive background in soap/bath and body products crafting? Do they have a blog? If so, how frequently is it updated? Are they on social media sites like Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, etc? Do they offer discounts or coupons? Are there free video tutorials, and/or recipes? Do they sell eBooks and books?

Organic and Sulfate Free Melt and Pour Glycerin Soap Crafting Recipes lisa maligaFind out more about suppliers and soap crafting here: Organic and Sulfate Free Melt and Pour Glycerin Soap Crafting Recipes

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